Sometimes, not telling the truth can be because you do not want to hurt someone. But, in my mind that is considered lying by omission. It is not really a case of “what you know won’t hurt you” as you always end up getting hurt, no matter what. Most recently I have had to keep the truth from a friend. This is not the same as keeping a secret. Keeping the truth means not telling your friend something you know. And, this is even harder when she asks you directly. I have only once been in this position before now. A lifetime ago, it seems, a friend of mine was having an affair. One day his wife, who was also a friend, asked me outright “is Andy having an affair”. I thought the telephone was not the right ‘place’ to answer the question and so I fobbed off the situation and instead asked her something else – and tried to make arrangements to see her. This was on a Friday, she had just returned from hospital and her husband was not really concerned about her and this is what sparked the little bit of self doubt. On the Monday she watched South Africa play cricket and lo and behold, in the crowds was her husband, with his girlfriend. On the Tuesday we had a long chat on the phone – we were having an awards dinner that night and their son was getting a trophy. We spoke about mundane things – like what we were going to wear. They did not arrive for the dinner and I made phone call after phone call to see what had gone wrong. Little did I know that she had committed suicide. After all my studying and working, I had missed all the signs and I was the last person to speak to her. I never got to answer her question, and I will never know if the truth might have changed things. She was an amazing mom. Her son was quite the fussy eater and so she decided with her daughter that she would eat whatever was put on the table. So, when we went for dinner, there sat the four year old daughter, eating prawns as if they were a normal part of her diet and not something ugly to be left alone.
- 15mls olive oil
- 15g butter
- 2 cloves garlic, chopped
- 6 prawns
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper to season
- juice of half a lemon
- 5mls oak smoked red bell pepper
- heat the oil and the butter in a frying pan
- add the garlic and sauté until soft without browning them
- add the prawns and season
- add the lemon juice and the smoked red pepper
- toss well in the sauce to make sure they are nicely coated and evenly cooked
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